


the secret is out now (and there is nowhere to hide)

by baruka



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, One Shot, they are already dating yeah, they are in college, this is so fluffy nek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 08:48:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1892727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baruka/pseuds/baruka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry realizes he is in love with Louis and doesn't think it's a good idea to tell him that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the secret is out now (and there is nowhere to hide)

**Author's Note:**

> idk how it turned out this way... i'm not a rly romantic person but larry ruined me ha and I rly dont have much experience writing, I just find it fun soo yeah....  
> the title is from the secret (the airborne toxic event) 
> 
> hope you enjoy it ~ :D

Day 1  
  
The warm sunlight enters through the window kissing Louis’ tan skin and making him glow. His head rested on Harry’s chest, hands wrapped around the younger boy’s waist and the feathery hair tickling his chin.  
  
Harry feels something different inside of him. Something he is not sure was there before, something unfamiliar but also really good. He is happy that this is the first thing he sees in the morning, he always is. But today something feels different, nothing really changed yet it feels different.  
  
Louis’ skin today seems softer than ever, his lips more kissable, his eyelashes longer and his hair fluffier, yet nothing is really different from yesterday. Louis is the exact same, so why does he looks prettier?  
  
The answer comes when Louis open his eyes groggily. The blue meeting the green right away. His mouth quirking up a small smile as he hugs Harry tighter. With the warmth of Louis’ skin against his, the sheets protecting them from the outside world, it _clicks_.  
  
 _I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 8  
  
He can already see Louis with a bored expression in his face as he opens the door to the coffee shop. It’s one of his favorites, small and with a home-y feeling to it, also an actually good coffee.  
  
He is walking towards Louis with a stupid grin in his face before he realizes.  
  
“Missed me?” Harry says and definitely loses the battle against the grin he was trying to control as Louis looks up and his entire face lights up.  
  
“HARRY!” Louis practically shouts, alarming some customers around them, before getting out of his seat and jumping in Harry’s arms, wrapping his owns around Harry’s neck.  
  
“It was just a week, how come you missed me so much?” Harry’s voice muffled while he hugs Louis back, arms around his waist and head buried against the older boy’s shoulder.  
  
“Oooh, so your hundred calls per day and insistent texts meant you weren’t missing me?” Louis laughs.  
  
“Ok, maybe I missed you a bit” Harry says, laughing too.  
  
Louis tilts his head back to press his lips against Harry’s, just a quick peck though, then pulls Harry to their table.  
  
“So, did you have a good time with your family?” Louis asks grabbing his cup of tea with one hand while the other squeezes Harry’s. His eyes are crinkling because of his giant smile. Harry thinks that he is not much better as his face is starting to ache.  
  
“It was nice, been a while since I last saw them so it was good to catch up with everything” Harry says his thumb pressing the back of Louis’ hand. “They didn’t stop asking me about my new boyfriend though”  
  
Louis giggles.  
  
“Did you tell them we are only seeing each other for two months?” Louis puts his cup down to rests his chin on his hand. “I mean, a little bit early for family meeting isn’t?”  
  
Something on Harry’s chest stings a bit. But Louis is right, _only two months_. Harry is just so deep in this he didn’t realize that it may not be like that to everyone else.  
  
“Yeah, right.” He recollects himself, hopes his face didn’t fall for long enough for Louis to notice “They just overact sometimes” Harry laughs and he thinks he made a good job. A frown flashes on Louis’ face but it is so quickly Harry is not sure if he saw right.  
  
Louis clears his throat. “Yeah, well. I have so much to tell you! There are stuff about Zayn and Perrie that I couldn’t tell you on the phone and you’ll not believe it” Louis’ voice a little bit unsure at first but he is back at his normal one and Harry realizes how much he missed it.  
  
The soft hand tangled with his, the warm touch. The way his eyes crinkle when he laughs and the way he says stuff that make Harry laugh until his stomach hurts. The way his voice can always surprise, so soft and high, definitely one of the most beautiful things he ever heard.  Every little thing he does, Harry missed it so much.  
  
As Louis continues to babble about the things Harry missed while he was away, Harry’s heart tighten in his chest at the way the boy moves, talks and laughs. He is completely gone.  
  
 _I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 14 2PM  
  
The chatter of people around him is about exams and how that last party was great. Harry is not paying attention though, he managed to tune it out a while ago, actually surprised with his concentration skills. The weather is good today, the sun is out but it’s not really hot. He is beneath a tree with his books spread around him trying to catch up with his classes.  
  
He and Louis spend so much time together since he came back from home that he didn’t get to open a single book. Now that he got some time alone (though he would rather be with Louis, as clingy as it sounds) he decided to start studying.  
  
His plan doesn’t last long though. He is probably studying outside for something about an hour before his phone starts ringing. He debates whether he should pick up or not but. Well it’s Louis and he never says ‘no’ to Louis.  
  
“Hey babe” Harry greets as he picks up the phone.  
  
“I can’t study. Let’s go out” He can practically see Louis pouting right now, he rolls his eyes.  
  
“Lou, I really need to study. I’m still a bit lost in basically everything” and it is true. Harry already skipped some classes with Louis and the ones he went to he spend thinking about Louis, so he is lost in basically everything. “Let’s leave it for later yeah?”  
  
“Nooo” Louis sounds like a little kid and Harry thinks it may not be that weird that he finds it extremely endearing. “later we have to go out with the boys! And I want some alone time with you”  
  
 _Though we spend the last 6 days without leaving each other’s sides._ He thinks but doesn’t say it because he kind of misses Louis too.  
  
“Lou” Harry tries to protest but his voice sounds weak and he can’t gather the strength to carry on, so soon Louis is talking again. _  
_  
“I really want to see you alone Harry” his voice is a bit lower now and Harry swallows “I can make it up for you for getting in the way of your good grades…”  
  
His breath catches, he closes his eyes and really tries to keep his mind blank but the images come flashing Harry’s mind and soon he is throwing his things inside his bag and getting up.  
  
“I’m coming” Harry says and his voice is a bit cracked.  
  
“Thought so, see you soon honey” Louis laughs and hangs up leaving a trying-really-hard-to-breath Harry.  
  
 _I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 14 11PM  
  
The music is extremely loud so Louis had to get on his tip toes to say something in Harry’s ears in order for him to listen. Not that Harry minds, Louis is his tip toes is absolutely adorable.  
  
“I think Niall got lucky!” He tilts his head towards the bar, where Niall is heading out with some blonde girl.  
  
“He always does.” Harry laughs.  
  
Besides Zayn and Liam, their friends don’t really _do_ relationships. They’re only in college, people don’t usually take these things serious yet. Harry does though. He can already picture himself in 10 years with some job at a law firm, going back home for a kid and his amazing husband failing to cook because no matter how hard Harry tries to teach him, he just doesn’t manage.  
  
He snaps out when Louis presses his leg between Harry’s. So Harry puts his hands on Louis’ waist and takes a pause to look at the older boy’s face.  
  
His sweaty forehead, and already mussed hair and how his shirt has some stains all over, it shouldn’t be attractive, at all. But to Harry it just seems so _Louis_ and he can’t help but be a bit turned on imagining how Louis could be even more wrecked.  
  
Louis turns around and starts grinding against Harry, he lowers his head and tries to breathe properly as he moves his body against Louis’. His breath on Louis’ neck and he feels really light-headed, so that he forgets for some minutes –maybe hours –that Louis is not the only person in the world.  
  
Louis presses his head back on Harry’s shoulders and puts his lips close to Harry’s ear.  
  
“C’mon, let’s grab some drinks. I’m thirsty” Harry nods and he feels hot all over even as Louis gets away from him to go towards the bar.  
  
When they get there Harry sits next to Liam who is drinking some colored stuff he is not sure he ever saw before. Liam looks up at them when they sit down and gives them a weak smile.  
  
“C’mon cheer up Liam! Let’s have some fun yeah?” Harry tries. This is the first night Liam goes out after his break up, so they were expecting him not to be much excited.  
  
“Yes, look how many beautiful girls around! I bet you can bang anyone here!” Louis says and Harry glares at him.  
  
“What Louis tried to say was that you can do whatever you want tonight yeah? You can just dance if you want to” He tries a smile but Liam is still watching him with a blank expression “The only thing you can’t do is be moping around, ok?” He pushes Liam off his seat. “Go somewhere else and try to have fun! You’re really hot, I would totally hook up with you” Louis gasps and Liam laughs for the first time in a while “If I didn’t have Louis, of course” he adds.  
  
“Harry should I remember you of how much better I am than anyone else you’ll ever meet?” Harry glances at Louis and _yes, I don’t think I’ll ever meet anyone like you._ For the second time tonight Harry forgets there are other people in the world as he stares at Louis’ eyes. Liam coughs.  
  
“Well, I don’t really want to be in the way of your flirting so… I’ll just go” Liam sighs and gives a small smile before running off to the dance floor. He watches as Liam disappears in the middle of the crowd and when he turns to Louis again he sees the older boy has two shots in his hands.  
  
“Drink up, Curly” Louis says as he shoves one glass into Harry’s hand.  
  
Harry drinks it and the burning feeling in his throat doesn’t even compare to the burn he is feeling where Louis’ hands are on his thigh.  
  
Louis is grinning at him and Harry lets his eyes roam Louis’ face. His deep blue eyes that are getting darker as the seconds go. His defined cheekbones and his jawline. The eyebrows and  cute little nose. His thin and so _god damn_ soft lips.  
  
“Are you quite finished staring at me?” Louis says and _god_ even his sassiness already has a place in Harry’s heart “If you are, we should really head out because when you look at me like that my pants get tighter” Louis smirks and grabs Harry’s hand leading him out the club.  
  
Harry just stares at Louis’ back and for the third time tonight he forgets everyone exists.  
  
 _I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 15 1AM  
  
Louis gets off Harry and throws the condom in the bin. Or at least Harry thinks he did. He is not really thinking straight, not really easy to when Louis was inside of him a few moments ago. See, sex with Louis is one of the best things Harry ever experienced. He tries to look manly and though all the time not really convincing, only when he is alone with Harry he is all cuteness and giggles, but when Louis is horny the manliness just comes to him. Harry loves how Louis is in control and how he loves to be in control. And he loves when Louis lets him have control too.  
  
Louis slides back in bed and curls up around Harry. He kisses Harry’s neck before settling his head in the boy’s shoulder. Harry puts his arms around Louis and presses a soft kiss to the older boy’s head. The tiredness from the day is finally catching up to him. Louis made Harry a bit busy all day and he had an early morning trying to study. He closes his eyes and soon he is dozing off.  
  
“What are you getting for my birthday?” Louis whispers sleepily, he probably didn’t even registered he said that out loud. Harry smiles and keeps his eyes closed.  
  
“A bit earlier for your birthday isn’t it? Still April…” Harry answers a bit amused.  
  
“Maybe I want something really expansive and you’ll have to work really hard to buy it.” Harry can feel Louis smiling against his skin.

“Well, I better be prepared then, tell me what would that be Mr. Tomlinson” Harry laughs quietly.  
  
“I want a diamond ring so I can show off to everyone” Louis says and Harry’s breathe hitches at the thought of putting a ring on Louis…. Because well, that is pretty serious.  
  
Harry takes a moment to calm down before answering.  
  
“Yeah, that might take some hard work from me” Harry says trying to keep it light.  
  
“It doesn’t have to be diamonds you know… I think you can choose a cool present for me” Louis pauses and Harry thinks he fell asleep “…I trust you”  
  
Harry can see stars, his heart bursting and a stupid giant grin on his face. He gets so happy over such a silly thing as the thought of Louis trusting him, the thought of Louis thinking they’re going to be together for a while, like maybe Louis feels exact the same as Harry. But then he remembers _only two months_. He doesn’t let the thought ruin his happiness though, maybe they will get there. So he clenches his arms around Louis.  
  
 _I love you.  
_  
_______________  
  
Day 16  
  
Harry sleepily enters the bathroom, he washes his face and looks his reflect in the mirror. He thinks he needs to shave. And there is a giant purple mark in his neck. Not really easy to hide it, but he doesn’t mind, Louis likes when he doesn’t try to hide it. Harry thinks it is a really possessive behavior and again he shouldn’t think this is endearing, but he does. He is examining the love bite when he hears a door shutting.  
  
“Harry! Brought you breakfast!” Louis voice rings through the flat.  
  
“In the bathroom!” He calls back. He continues his morning routine and he can still hear Louis walking around, his flat doesn’t really have thick walls, but it is cheap so he doesn’t complain. Soon enough Louis pokes his head in the bathroom.  
  
“Hey” he says and walks to Harry putting his hands on the boy’s waist.  
  
“Hey” Harry says his voice still hoarse from sleep. “What did Zayn need?” his voice is a bit bitter, and he feels guilty to be like that towards Zayn. But he doesn’t appreciate when his boyfriend receives emergency calls at 6 in the morning and leaves him alone in bed.  
  
“Just some Perrie issues, it will be solved in no time” Louis says and kisses Harry’s neck, right where the love bite is. Louis’ eyes go to Harry’s hands, where he is holding his shaving cream and razor, and smiles. “Do you want to shave me?”  
  
“Shave you?” Harry asks a bit confused.  
  
“Yes, Harry. Shave me.” Louis laughs “I think I’m needing to but I don’t feel like doing it myself.”  
  
“Uhm, ok” Harry coughs and turns around to face Louis. “Let’s get you clean” He drops the things in the sink, picks Louis up and sits him in the counter. Louis giggles.  
  
Harry stops for a minute and lets his hands roam at Louis’ waist and back as he kisses the boy’s face, giving him little pecks. He is so tiny and cute, yet he is so strong and sassy it’s completely endearing.  
  
“Just get on with it, before we start doing something and have to stop to go to class” Louis says, trying to sound demanding but he is laughing.  
  
“Yeah, we wouldn’t want to miss class would we?” Harry pecks Louis’ lips one last time before getting the cream and razor back in his hands.  
  
As he applies the cream in Louis’ skin, he admits he let his hands linger moments too long and he knows Louis noticed, but it doesn’t matter. Louis right now is just giggly and soft skin and thankful kisses.  
  
 _I love you._  
_______________  
  
Day 18  
  
Harry can hear clatters and he smells something burning.  
  
“It can’t be…” He rolls to the other side of bed and his suspicious grow wider. He groans.  
  
He gets off the bed only bothering to put some boxers on before he walks off to the kitchen. When he enters the room he is greeted with the sight of Louis wearing an apron – _only_ an apron –and a frying pan in his hands, then there is a flying bacon landing in Harry’s stomach.  
  
“Ouch” he says flatly and looks up at Louis that has his eyes wide and mouth hanging open in surprise, comical really.  
  
They stare at each other for a few seconds before bursting in laughter.  
  
“You –came right when –it hit you like-” Louis has his arms around his stomach and can’t really speak.  
  
“I know –and your face –I” Harry supports himself on the counter because seriously that was just hilarious.  
  
When they manage to calm down, Harry steps closer to Louis and kisses his forehead, putting his hands on the older boy’s shoulder.  
  
“Why are you cooking anyway?” Harry asks “You want to get me poisoned?” That probably came out more fondly than he was intending.  
  
“Well, you’ve been an amazing boyfriend and I felt like doing something for you” Louis is trying to play it nonchalantly with his ‘joke voice’ but the blush that is creeping up his face and the extremely fond tone give him away. “But well, I didn’t think bacon would be so difficult” He sighs “apparently it is.” Harry tries not to think about the ‘amazing boyfriend’ part, because his hearts wouldn’t be able to handle it.  
  
Harry laughs and takes the frying pan from Louis’ hands. “Well, you’re lucky I’m a very good boyfriend and will save you from this disaster” though that may offend some people, the way Harry says it seems like a complement.  
  
“Thanks boyfriend” Louis smiles at Harry and gives a quick peck to the younger boy’s lips “You’re lucky I make the best tea though!” he says as he goes to get two mugs in Harry’s shelf, the boy knows this flat like his own from the time he spends here. Harry pinches Louis’ bum making the boy gasp before turning to the stove to fix them some breakfast, letting out a very fond laugh.  
  
While Harry fries some bacon and toasts Louis makes them tea and tries to bother Harry with pokes and kisses. Harry likes this very much. When he turns around he sees that Louis also cleaned the floor from the earlier bacon incident, and he likes to think he has something to do with the fact that Louis is a bit more hygienic now than he was before they started dating. They sit down to eat and Louis picks up a newspaper. Harry looks up at him with raised eyebrows.  
  
“What?” Louis says when he realizes the way Harry is looking at him “a man can’t read a newspaper over breakfast?”  
  
“Yes… you though” Harry tries to stiff his laughter but doesn’t really succeeds.  
  
“Ha-ha very funny” Louis rolls his eyes. “It was just here, what bad can it do to read it, right?” He sips his tea before continuing “I’m trying to create new habits of reading”  
  
And yeah, Harry wants to be here for that. He wants to be here when Louis feels like doing new things, when he picks up new habits and doesn’t realize it. Wants to see when Louis will change in little bits and start new ways to do things, the way he will slowly change through the years. And in 20 years Harry wants to be able to quote all the things Louis didn’t do when they were younger and when he stopped doing them.  
  
Louis looks at the clock and puts his mug down in a rush.  
  
“I have early class today, have to go!” Louis rushes to the bedroom and Harry finishes his tea and toast before getting up.  
  
Louis comes running from the bedroom, now wearing pants and a shirt. He hugs Harry and smacks his cheek.  
  
“I’ll see you later?” Louis asks, but it’s not really a question. They spend the nights together more often than not.  
  
“Obviously” Harry says with a smile “I feel like cooking dinner today.” He slots his fingers with Louis’, giving a quick peck to the boy’s lips.  
  
“Okay” Louis smiles up at him for a few moments, then probably remembers he is late as he suddenly gets away from Harry and rushes to the door. “See you at mine! I want something fancy for dinner!”  
  
“Will do!” Harry calls after him. Then he realizes he probably looks like a complete idiot, grinning like a fool half-naked in a flat smelling like burned bacon. But he doesn’t find in himself to care.  
  
 _I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 21  
  
The sun is bright and is possible to hear some kids playing and screaming around the lake, there are couples acting couple-y and families having picnics. Classic picnic date. Harry doesn’t think of how much domestic it is to have a picnic date at a park with this kind of environment –if he did, he would have to think about how they never leave each other’s sides and how they share each other’s flats too, so he won’t.  
  
He and Louis decided some sun would be nice and Harry thinks it was the best choice he ever made. Louis is stunning, that is a fact. But Louis wearing shorts and tank top while eating ice cream and sunbathing. Well, let’s just say Harry has high chances of being arrested today.   
  
“It’s not even that hot yet, why are we trying to sunbath?” Harry says breaking the comfortable silence, the only sound was Louis licking his ice cream and the noise of people around them, so Harry may have been needing something to distract him from Louis’ lips.  
  
“Because I want to” Louis says and looks up at Harry with a smirk. “And don’t pretend you’re not liking it, you’re so the type of guy who loves picnics” Louis rolls his eyes and goes back to eating his ice cream.  
  
“Heey, why did that sound like a bad thing?” He is actually a bit offended. “And yeah, I’m liking it. Picnics are great ok?”  
  
Louis laughs. “Babe, you’re adorable” Louis pinches his cheeks leaving behind something sticky, probably the ice cream “And even though I would normally make fun of anyone who still go on picnic dates, you make it seem like it’s the best thing” He pecks Harry’s lips and stands up to puts his ice cream wrap in the thrash bin.  
  
Harry is overwhelmed with the thought that Louis thinks he is special, and that makes him think perhaps Louis feels the same. When he met Louis, he knew the other boy didn’t really like to think about the future, about marriage and kids or anything. He just wants to live the moment for now. He knows because he was like that too. But being with Louis changed that, and since he realized he was in love with Louis he couldn’t stop thinking about how much he wants to spend the rest of his life with him. How he wants Louis to be the guy he will have kids with, the guy with whom he will be a family. And he really wants to talk about this with Louis but he doesn’t think he can.  
  
Louis comes back and this time instead of sitting on Harry’s side, he sits on his lap. Harry is in serious trouble.  
  
“It is one of the best kind of dates” Harry smiles down at Louis, the other boy looking up at the sound of his voice “And you’re actually the first one to agree and come with me” his grin gets wider because it’s true, and so Louis is really special to Harry too.  
  
“I’m honored” Louis face is serious for a second but soon there is a maniac grin in his face to match Harry’s. He lowers his head to press a soft kiss to Louis’ lips, and they’re both smiling so it’s not really a kiss.

Harry thinks this is happiness, and maybe he doesn’t have to tell Louis about his feelings. Maybe he can be happy with only _this_ , this feels perfect so why would he change it? Louis is happy and he is happy, things don’t really have to change do they?  
  
“Oh” Louis perks up “I have a present for you” Louis put his hands in his pockets to look for something, his back turned to Harry.  
  
“A present? What for?” Harry asks and rests his head on Louis’ shoulder. The boy suddenly spins around to face Harry making him almost fall.  
  
“Nothing really” Louis says helping Harry to stead himself with one hand. “I was downtown yesterday and I entered this shop and” he pauses like he is not sure if he should say something, his hand still on Harry’s waist from trying to help him, but soon he is smiling again “and I thought of you as soon as saw this!”  
  
He shows what he was holding in his other hand. It’s a bracelet. Probably made of bronze, imitating two ropes entwined and with a little anchor in it. It is beautiful, Louis really knows him very well. Harry just stares in awe at it, he grabs it in his hands touching like its fragile. He looks back at Louis, his face still surprised.  
  
“Louis, this is beautiful” Harry stares at Louis and he can’t come up with words. This is the first time Louis gave him something, so yeah he is very excited that his boyfriend called him ‘special’ and gave him a present for the first time.  
  
“It’s actually a pair. I have one too” Louis a bit shyly shows the other one, just like Harry’s. “Do you like it? I mean, isn’t it too much?” Louis ducks his head a bit, but still keeping eye contact with Harry. He can see the insecurity, which is ridiculous really, no matter what Louis gives him, Harry always loves it.  
  
“Of course I liked it!” he grabs Louis’ hands in his and the boy lifts his head “This is so beautiful Lou” he lets go of Louis’ hands and grabs his face instead “I absolutely loved it!” Harry pulls Louis into a very messy kiss, both boys falling back in the grass. Louis is laughing and Harry can’t really kiss him properly because he is still smiling too. Harry pulls back and beams at Louis.  
  
“I’m glad you liked it” Louis says quietly, his grin never leaving his face.  
  
“I really did” Harry says, and remember Louis’ words ‘ _I thought of you as soon as I saw this_ ’ “but, why did you thought of me when you saw it?” he can’t really think of a reason as why Louis would remember of Harry when seeing this, even though he really loved it.  
  
Louis hesitates a moment long enough for Harry to start worrying. “Not much of a reason actually…. You just said once you liked boats so, nautical and stuff…” he is obviously lying but, Harry is really happy today so he lets it go.  
  
He is about to open his mouth but catches himself. He knows what he was going to say. And he just thought he didn’t have to do it. But now as he holds it inside, now that he is so _so_ happy, he feels like he is going to burst if he doesn’t say it out loud. He won’t though, because that might change things and Harry likes the way it is now. So he tries to forget the burning feeling in him and smiles at Louis.  
  
 _I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 22  
  
Movie nights are always fun. Harry loves to cuddle in the couch with Louis and watch some rom com while Louis complains about watching rom coms but let Harry choose whatever he wants. He still remembers the first time they did this and Harry had to kiss Louis until he agreed in watching Titanic, it didn’t take long and Harry didn’t mind it in the least.  
  
Now Louis is already used to Harry’s choices so he only rolls his eyes and shades the characters through the movie. He shouldn’t think this is endearing, but he does.  
  
“Why does she care so much anyway?” Louis rolls his eyes at the girl on the screen, getting in trouble because of her romantic pair. “She just met the dude”  
  
“Not really, they met some weeks ago. That is time enough to care isn’t it?” Harry is already used to Louis complaining too so he doesn’t put much thought to it.  
  
“Some weeks ago is usually not time enough to fall in love” Harry flinches and hopes Louis didn’t realize it. He probably didn’t as he continues to speak. “She just thinks he loves him, but I bet is the heat of the moment, in no time she will get tired of it.”  
  
“You don’t get to choose when you fall in love, Lou” Harry says, trying to keep his voice from showing anything.  
  
Harry really tries to stay focused in the movie after this but he can’t. He can’t because that is probably the way Louis sees them. They like each other but in no time they will get tired of it. He congratulates himself for not start crying right there because it hurts, hurts so bad. Louis doesn’t see them like he does, and Harry is just a fool that will be left with a broken heart and Louis will move on because he will _get tired of it._  
  
His hand goes to grab the bracelet in his wrist. The present Louis gave him, remembering that he was special. Well, he may be now, but Louis will get tired of it. Harry tries not to think of how empty his flat will be, how the floor will be so clean that will be misplaced. How everything will look so wrong without Louis’ mess. How he will go back to eat breakfast alone and _be_ alone most of the time, how he will wake up to cold sheets and the smell of bacon burning will never be there again. He can’t help but think of it all though, and when he realizes the movie has ended and Louis is kissing him.  
  
Louis lips move slowly against Harry’s, and he is responding to it automatically. But then he thinks of a time when theses lips won’t be there so he accelerates the pace and turns Louis around, so he is on top of him. He sets his legs on Louis’ sides without breaking the kiss. Things become very heated and Louis is soon taking Harry’s shirt off. Harry lets Louis pull his shirt, only breaking the kiss to pull it off his head.  
  
He is going to enjoy this. Today, he will ignore the sting in his heart. Today he will be with Louis and be happy, he will ignore everything inside of him telling him he is not happy like this. Tomorrow he can worry about Louis leaving him, but today he will be happy that Louis is here now. He will enjoy it.  
  
When Louis takes his own shirt off, Harry lifts him from the couch, the other boy wrapping his legs around Harry’s waist to pull him impossibly closer. Louis’ hands in Harry’s hair, pressing their lips together. Harry blindly leads them to the bedroom, pressing Louis against the door he moves his lips to the older boy’s jaw, then his neck. He starts sucking a mark there. He wants to leave a mark of him there while Louis is still his.  
  
He pushes the bedroom door open and carries Louis to the bed. He drops the older boy there and takes his own pants off. Louis does the same and soon Harry is on top of him. They kiss roughly and tonight Harry is in charge.  
  
Now, Harry can mark Louis as he wishes. Now, Louis is moaning Harry’s name. Now, Harry is the one he is craving for. Now, they are together. Maybe tomorrow they won’t, so Harry is enjoying today. He will love Louis now, while he still can.  
  
So this night when Louis is still his, when they kiss each other softly after so many rough kisses, when they drift off to sleep pressed to each other, when Harry can see the small smile spreading to Louis’ face and when he can still hear the older boy’s voice calling his name, this night he tries to forget about his worries.  
  
 _I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 23  
  
Harry blurts the door open and goes straight to the kitchen to get some water. He is fuming with anger, and he would probably find it funny if it was someone else. But it is him, and the only think he can think about now is hands. Hands on Louis’ body. His chest feels tight and his heartbeat must be reaching some scary number.  
  
“What’s up with you Harry?” Louis shouts after him, closing the door loudly. “You’ve been a dick the whole night!” Louis’ voice gets closer and when he finishes the sentence he is at the kitchen’s door.  
  
“Oh! I wonder why is that?” Harry shouts at Louis, the older boy doesn’t seem affected by it, he remains glaring at Harry. “Maybe because some dick kept touching my boyfriend?”  
  
“You got jealous of Jackson?” Louis snorts. “I mean, we snog sometimes but –”  
  
“WHAT THE FUCK?” He thinks his heart stops for a moment there.  
  
“I’m joking for fucks sake!” Louis stares wide eyed at Harry. He takes a deep breath before talking again, not shouting this time. “Look, I get that he was a bit inappropriate tonight but –”  
  
“Inappropriate? He couldn’t take his hands off you!”  
  
“–but he is my friend, just a friend. And he gets hands-y when he is drunk ok? It’s not really his fault. It happened before with other teammates ok? It is not just me.” Louis looks at Harry waiting for an understanding. He averts his eyes from Louis, trying to look at anything but him.  
   
He got it. He really did. He heard stories about Jackson before, the things he did when he was drunk. But he couldn’t handle it. His hands touching Louis all the time, Louis tried to get away sometimes but others he just let him. The big problem was that every time Harry tried to tell him to fuck off, Louis didn’t let him. It was like he could read Harry’s mind and he didn’t let him talk. And Harry couldn’t just grab Louis and get the fuck out because maybe for Louis they’re not _serious enough._ He will _get over it._ And Harry can’t do that, he can’t just stand and let people touch Louis like that and be scared of doing something because his boyfriend might think he is not worth it.  
  
When they got together, they didn’t have a proper conversation about it, Louis just said “So we’re dating now?” and Harry nodded. That was it, they didn’t talk about how that would work. They just felt right doing it, so they did. But now Harry thinks they should’ve talked. Because now he is _scared_ of losing Louis for crossing some boundary he is not sure exists.  
  
“Louis” he takes a deep breathe. “You have to stop making jokes out of these things” He takes his eyes off the sink –that he’d been staring at for a while now – and looks up at Louis. “I hated it when he was touching you and you wouldn’t let me do anything!”  
  
“Well, he is my friend. You shouldn’t have been so bothered anyway” He rolls his eyes.  
  
“The worst part is not even the touching! Is you being sarcastic about it and turning it into a joke!” He can’t stand it, Louis treating everything like it’s just a fling. He is afraid that for Louis it is just a fling.  
  
“Why are you that angry anyway?” Louis asks. He says it so quietly, Harry could’ve not listen at all. But he did. He’d listen to it. He was so angry because.  
  
“I’m angry because I–” he catches himself. He stares at Louis. They’re both silent for what feel like hours. “because I didn’t like it” Louis scoffs at that.  
  
“Yeah, ok” he walks closer to Harry “Look Harry, I just –” he goes to touch Harry’s arm but the younger boy flinches away. Louis stares at him in surprise.  
  
He can’t. He can’t be touched by Louis now. Because when they touch each other everything feels right. And he doesn’t want to feel this insecure anymore. So he just lets out a long breath and exits the room. He grabs his beanie, which was in the living room since last week, and heads out the door. Trying to let go of Louis and his unspoken words.  
  
 _I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 24  
  
Harry didn’t left his house all day. Actually, he didn’t get out of bed. He just got up to go to the bathroom and to fix some food some hours ago. His phone wouldn’t stop ringing so he turned it off around noon. He turned it off mainly because he didn’t want to talk to any of the people who called. Also because the person he didn’t want to talk the most wasn’t calling him. He is not making much sense, but what to expect from a guy who was locked up all day.  
  
Louis didn’t call him. Not once. Harry wouldn’t have picked up anyway, but it hurts to think Louis doesn’t want to fix things. That just proves that it actually is a fling to him. He shut off his phone so that if Louis didn’t call, he wouldn’t know.  
  
It’s not as if he cried all day. He had some moments but that was really quick. He is not going to act like a teenage girl who lost the first boyfriend. But wow, it’s Louis ok? So he is allowed to cry a bit maybe. He is still wearing his bracelet, he doesn’t want to get rid of it.  
  
He is thinking about going to shower when he hears someone knocking in his door. Is probably Liam or Niall checking up on him, but he doesn’t feel like talking to anyone right now. He’ll just wait for them to leave. The person knocks a few more times, when it’s clear Harry has no intentions of opening it, he hears the door opening.  
  
He frowns and lifts his head from the pillows, sitting up in bed. That’s not possible. No one has the key to his flat and he is pretty sure he locked it. The only one who knows where the spare key is…  
  
Like it’s his cue, Louis burst the bedroom door open. Harry stares at him with wide eyes. Louis at first has a serious expression in his face but when his eyes find Harry’s face he looks surprised.  
  
“Harry?” Louis’ voice cutting in the silence. “Shit, Harry” he sighs.  
  
Louis sits in bed next to him and hugs him close. Harry can’t protest, can’t tell him to go away, can’t help but hug him back because he feels okay again. He just closes his eyes and lets Louis’ scent calm him down.  
  
“Please, don’t do that again. I couldn’t help but think that you started hating me or something” Louis hugs him tighter “I couldn’t come earlier and I –” Harry thinks Louis was about to crack, he doesn’t know why he would though. “I was worried.”  
  
“I just…” Harry opens his eyes and tries to think carefully of what he is about to say. “I needed some time to think.”  
  
“Ok.” Louis pulls back from the hug and look into Harry’s eyes. “I’m sorry I was being stupid yesterday.”  
  
Harry sighs. He can’t _do_ mad at Louis for long. So he gives up and gives Louis a small smile.  
  
“Yeah, it’s fine.” He rests his forehead against Louis’. “I guess I overreacted too.”  
  
Louis seems like he is about to say something but catches himself. Harry would ask him what is it but he did that too. Probably not the same though.  
  
 _I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 27  
  
It’s not that Harry has been avoiding Louis. Is just that, he doesn’t jump on every opportunity to see him and he kind of creates excuses not to go to the boy’s flat. Ok, maybe he is avoiding Louis. But he has a good reason.  
  
See, being alone with Louis after that day is hard. It’s hard because he can’t control himself. Every time Louis simply looks at him, he has to bite his tongue to not say it. When Louis touched him, he is not sure how he managed.  So Harry bailed out on Louis all week, running away from sex. Never in his life had he thought this would happen, but well here he is. His excuse was ‘studying tonight Lou, won’t make it’ he used it every day so Louis probably perked up on it.  
  
He definitely perked up on it because when Harry is leaving the coffee shop he receives a text.  
  
 _my bedroom now. if u say ur studying I’ll kill u  
 :) x_  
 _-Louis_  
  
And there is a pic attached and when Harry opens it _oh_ , oh. He better go.  
  
 _I’m bringing tea xx  
-Harry  
  
_ He doesn’t think he can hold himself for long now. He will definitely ruin everything when he says it, but it’s getting out of his control. That’s all Louis’ fault anyway. He is the giggly, cute, tiny, sexy, strong, sassy, hot, manly, wonderful and perfect one. So if Harry ruins everything, is all Louis’ fault.  
 _  
I love you.  
  
_______________  
  
_ Day 28  
  
He can feel soft lips against his. Then against his jaw, his neck, his shoulders and his chest. He could probably recognize Louis’ lips no matter how much time passes. And he absolutely adores when Louis wakes him up like this. He adores when Louis is all soft and cuddly, how he only shows this side of him to Harry.  
  
“Time to wake up, Harold.” Harry really _really_ likes the way Louis says ‘Harold’ with his morning voice –that he really likes too.  
  
“G’morning” Harry can feel a smile stretch in his face. Then he can feel Louis smiling against his skin.  
  
“I was thinking about spending all day in, cuddling and watching movies. We can order pizza and I think I have some ice in the fridge.” Louis says, and Harry opens his eyes slowly.  
  
Louis is naked, kissing him and proposing a perfect day. Harry thinks he chose wisely. He lets his grin grow wider.  
  
“I would l–” and he completely forgot. He can’t spend a perfect day with Louis because he won’t be able to control himself. Looking at Louis’ perfect blue eyes and messy hair he knows he won’t. The older boy starts frowning at Harry’s pause, so he coughs and restarts. “I would like to do that Lou, but I can’t” he tries really hard not to feel guilty as Louis’ eyes turn sad.  
  
“Why not?” Louis seems so sad, almost hurt. Harry feels like throwing himself off a cliff.  
  
“I have to” he pauses, looking at Louis “study.” And then he can actually see hurt in Louis’ eyes.  
  
Louis blinks, like he is fighting back tears. But that wouldn’t make sense. Why the hell would Louis cry over him?  
  
“Harry, you –” he lets out a long breath. “Do you want to break up with me?” Harry was not ready for that. Absolutely not. He freezes. That doesn’t make sense, none of it. Why does Louis looks hurt? Why would Louis think he wants to break up? Why is there a tear rolling down Louis’ face?  
  
“Why do you think that?” he can’t move, completely frozen staring at Louis.  
  
“I knew it.” More tears fall down his face and he tries to swap them with the back of his hands, but they just don’t seem to stop now. “You were avoiding me all week, and last night you looked off and –”  
  
“No, Louis I don’t” Harry tries to protest but Louis doesn’t seem to be listening.  
  
“–and  you just don’t want to spend time with me anymore” Louis pauses to try to breath, Harry never saw Louis cry before. Never even actually upset. Angry, of course, and pissed, all the time. But sad or hurt, he never saw it and never heard stories about it. Louis doesn’t let people see it. Never. “I know it’s been only two months and I’m being pathetic but, you have no idea of what you mean to me Harry”  
  
Harry stops. Everything stops. His heart stops beating, his hands stop shaking and the world probably stops spinning. And then he laughs. Louis looks up at him with an incredulous look.  
  
“Louis.” Harry grabs the older boy’s hands in his. “The reason I was avoiding you was because I thought I wouldn’t be able to control myself from saying something to you.” He smiles at Louis. “Something I thought would make you run away from me.”  
  
“What?” Louis pulls his hands back. “Harry, just break up with me! Why are you going in circles? Just say you hate me or that you got bored! Just –”  
  
“I love you.”  
  
“–do it!” Louis opens his mouth again but the closes it. He stares at Harry with wide eyes. “wait, what did you…” he blinks repeatedly.  
  
Harry laughs. “I said” he takes Louis’ hands again. “that I love you.”  
  
“Oh”  
  
“Yeah, oh.” He takes a deep breath and can’t stop smiling. “I thought that you thought this was just a fling, so I was kinda scared of telling you that, and I didn’t want to lose you so…”  
  
“You love me.” Louis says, trying to grasp it.  
  
“Yes, I do. I love you.” It feels so good to say it out loud, he could do it all day. There is a long pause.  
  
“I don’t think this is a fling.” Louis finally says. “I probably would with anyone else, I mean it’s just two months. But with you, it’s different. Everything is different. You’re special Harry.” He says, and smiles at Harry. Harry thinks it’s the most beautiful smile Louis has ever given him.  
  
“I love you.” He can’t find anything else he wants to say more than this.  
  
“You only know how to say that now?” Louis laughs.  
  
“Yeah, I kind of want to say it all the time” Harry joins him laughing. He leans down and captures Louis’ lips in a slow, soft kiss. “I love you. I love everything about you.” Louis opens his eyes and looks Harry in the eyes.  
  
“I love you too.” He says slowly, almost whispering. Like it’s a secret. “And you know, the bracelet” he licks his lips before continuing “it’s because you’re my anchor, the one who keeps me secure”  
  
Harry grins and it’s okay to be an idiot, as long as Louis is an idiot with him.  
  
_______________  
  
Day 5476 (aka 15 years later)  
  
Harry puts his ring back on before heading out the bathroom, walking through the hallways towards the kitchen. As he gets close enough he can hear Lucas’ voice talking excitedly about something. When he enters the room Lucas stops babbling and looks up at his father.  
  
His green eyes wide with excitement, his light brown hair already falling in front of his eyes, Harry thinks he’ll have to cut it soon.  
  
“Daddy!” the boy jumps at Harry’s leg. “Guess what? Dad said he is taking me to Donny’s game on Friday!” the boys squeals. Harry just laughs at it.  
  
“Of course he is! He wants to turn you into a Doncaster fan too!” Harry makes a face of mock horror. “We’ll have two monsters!” then both of them are laughing.  
  
“Daddy, can I go too?” Claire perks up. Harry looks up at her from where she’d been sitting in the kitchen’s table. She is usually a quiet girl, different from her twin, so if she wants to she goes unnoticed in many situations. He is not sure how she is so calm, not like any of them has it in their DNA. She is a very lovely girl though, that must’ve come from both.  
  
“Sure, sweetheart. Just make sure to ask your super cool dad too yeah?” Harry makes his smile wider at her.  
  
“Ok” she giggles and goes back to her cereal bowl.  
  
When Harry gets Lucas to sit down and eat his breakfast too, Louis steps into the kitchen. He is wearing his favourite suit, –its Harry’s favourite too, the way it fits his bum it’s just _wow_ – the one he wear only at special occasions because he says it’s his lucky suit.  
  
“Good morning, loves” Louis greets.  
  
“Good morning” the three of them say at the same time and start laughing. Louis gives everyone a kiss in the cheek before sitting down next to Harry.  
  
“The fundraising gig is only at night time, why are you dressed up now?” Harry asks, an amused grin in his face.  
  
“I have people to visit before going to the party” Louis says, he sounds a bit nervous. It’s understandable, he is working on this party for weeks now. “There is a lot of last minute details for me to deal with” he sighs and stuffs his mouth with some toast.  
  
“Babe, it will be amazing. I’m sure of it.” He smiles reassuring at Louis. “And you know how I know that?”  
  
“No. How?” Louis asks rolling his eyes, his voice muffled because of the toast in his mouth.  
  
“I’ll be playing. So it will obviously be awesome.” Harry laughs and gets a bacon hitting his forehead. “Heey” he tries to protest but everyone is laughing and he can’t help but grin.  
  
“Twat.” That gets Lucas gasping and pointing at him accusatorily. “I mean, not that –uhm” He coughs. “You’re already 6, it shouldn’t be such a problem” he rubs the back of his neck.  
  
“Louis!” Harry scolds.  
  
“Ok, sorry. Don’t say that word, that is a bad word” Claire rolls her eyes amused and Lucas just nods furiously. Louis grins at them.  
  
“Seriously though, it will be great Lou, you made your best organizing it and your new song is totally amazing” he grabs Louis’ hand that was rested in the table. “No way people won’t love it.”  
  
“They’ll love it because it will be you singing it!” Louis grins.  
  
“It’s a success anyway!” Harry laughs.  
  
He thinks about those mornings when they were in college and he thought he could do that forever. He loved eating lazy breakfast with Louis, finding him without clothes trying to cook, the morning he woke up before him and brought him breakfast to bed. He was really happy that time. Now his mornings are always busy and noisy, the kids make a mess bigger than their dad’s, Harry never thought that was possible. And he couldn’t be happier.  
  
Louis’ voice brings him back from his thoughts. “Now, go upstairs get ready for school yeah? I don’t want you getting late for school anymore Lucas.” The twins get out of their seats, Lucas runs out of the kitchen quickly, Claire stops in front of Louis. “What is it, love?”  
  
“Dad, I love you.” She pushes Louis’ shirt, signalling for him to get down. He does so, and she gives him a kiss on the cheek. Harry is probably grinning like a maniac watching the scene.  
  
“I love you too sweetheart.” Louis grins widely at her and she goes to Harry. He gets down before she asks him to and smacks her cheek, making her giggle and kiss him back.  
  
“I love you daddy” she says, smiling up at Harry.  
  
“Love you too, pumpkin” he pats her head and she runs off out the kitchen too. Harry gets back to his seat and beams at Louis. Harry doesn’t need to say anything anymore, because he knows and Louis knows. Through the years they learned everything about each other, they don’t need words to convey what they want to express. Right now, looking into Louis’ eyes he knows what his husband is thinking, and he knows Louis can see that in him too. But they say it anyway, because they can.  
  
“I love you” Louis says.  
  
“I love you.”


End file.
